I've experienced an awesomely (sp?) joyful thing - I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd baby! 5.31.11
I've experienced a terrible thing, unimaginably terrible. I had a miscarriage. 6.28.11
I've been filled with so much hope lately, so much hope. And I'm so thankful for that.
I'm mad at myself for not updating this thing more often - keeping track of all the great things Henry is learning, doing, saying, etc. Because then I wouldn't feel so weird about writing about this baby that was lost. I won't get into details because I have those written down for myself elsewhere, but I thought it was worthy of at least a mention on here.
We are now in the process of TTC after the loss - but my body is so screwed up that it hasn't "reset" yet. Henry was going to be a big brother, we were going to be parents of 2 under 2! - but now that's gone. Our faith is strong, and our love is, too. So things will get better, and we'll keep pressing forward, but there is still hurt, definitely.
Our sweet Henry is just over 14 months old now. He is absolutely my sunshine - he lifts my spirits when skies are gray.
Every morning I wake up to his smiley face and I'm instantly in a good mood.
Things Hank can say: mama, dada, papa, ball, dog, go, yeah, whoa, ki-cat, book (used to be gook), bubba, more, baa-baa, quack, meow, moo, baby, hi, bye, hiyo (this is what he calls a phone)
Things Hank loves to do: climb stairs, play in the tub, read books, build block towers, give kisses, share snacks, dance, sing (baa-baa black sheep, ABCs, itsy bitsy spider, skid-a-ma-rink), sleep between mom & dad, "go back, go back", swing, drum, throw a ball, talk on the hiyo, give kisses, get his boogies sucked with the bulb syringe (laughs out loud every time), go for walks in his stroller
Things Hank loves to eat: oatmeal, watermelon, tomatoes, bread & butter pickles, potato chips, meat (hot dogs, breakfast sausage, ham, turkey, chicken, etc.), strawberries, animal crackers, crackers, fruit/veggies melts, puffs
8.19.2011
12.08.2010
Reflection
I saw this on another blog and decided I wanted to have it, too! I know, I still have to update with tons of stuff about my Hank. But my excuse at the moment is I'm on jury duty so I don't have time. :)
How long did it take to conceive? 14 months. We started trying July of 2008.
First reaction to BFP? Disbelief. Could not believe I saw two lines - truly an answered prayer!
Were you correct with your gender prediction? Nope. We were both convinced baby was a girl (based on our "timing"). But we were both thrilled when we found out I was having a boy!
Was it tough deciding a name? Not at all, we were in agreement and decided on Henry the day we found out he was a boy.
What would the name have been for the opposite sex? Tess
How far along were you when baby was born? 38 weeks 1 day
Was your delivery how you envisioned? Absolutely not. Ugh, what a rough day.
Who was in the delivery room with you? Hubs, Doula Kim, CNM Jill, and our awesome nurse Anglea.
Who cut the cord? Hubs
Did you enjoy your maternity leave? After he was out of the NICU, off the biliblanket, and Hubs was home with me - yes!
Luckily, I have a lot of info written down on his calendar and in his baby book. Otherwise, I would feel like a complete failure. It's just too hard getting on here regularly. I've got a cute, cheeky face that keeps me way busy.
How long did it take to conceive? 14 months. We started trying July of 2008.
First reaction to BFP? Disbelief. Could not believe I saw two lines - truly an answered prayer!
Were you correct with your gender prediction? Nope. We were both convinced baby was a girl (based on our "timing"). But we were both thrilled when we found out I was having a boy!
Was it tough deciding a name? Not at all, we were in agreement and decided on Henry the day we found out he was a boy.
What would the name have been for the opposite sex? Tess
How far along were you when baby was born? 38 weeks 1 day
Was your delivery how you envisioned? Absolutely not. Ugh, what a rough day.
Who was in the delivery room with you? Hubs, Doula Kim, CNM Jill, and our awesome nurse Anglea.
Who cut the cord? Hubs
Did you enjoy your maternity leave? After he was out of the NICU, off the biliblanket, and Hubs was home with me - yes!
Luckily, I have a lot of info written down on his calendar and in his baby book. Otherwise, I would feel like a complete failure. It's just too hard getting on here regularly. I've got a cute, cheeky face that keeps me way busy.
10.01.2010
He's Here, and He's Amazing
Never one to update this thing in any sort of timely fashion, here I sit, 3+ months since Henry's birth to finally write it all down. (As best I can remember - 3 months and those wacky mommy hormones are already helping me forget the pain.)
My sweet boy is asleep in his crib and I'm sitting in the recliner soaking in the sound of his little breaths while I type. Wow. How awesome to type that. He's really freaking here! The baby I prayed for every single day! The baby I dreamed about, the one I started to think might not ever be mine! I'M A MOMMY!
Ok, so here goes:
Henry arrived on Monday, June 14th, 2010 at 11:21pm. He weighed 7lbs. 3oz. and was 19.5in. long.
The Sunday before was when my mom and I finished decorating the nursery. I was exhausted, and telling all my friends how ready I was for him to get here. My friend Stacey took a picture of me in the doorway of my house that night - she told me it would send me into labor, it happened to her with both her boys. Hubs came home that evening a little buzzed - we sat in Henry's room just sharing our dreams for our baby boy. Hubs did a lot of talking to my belly, telling our baby boy he was more than ready for him to come out. Little did we know...
I woke up at 4am to pee and noticed that there was fluid still coming out after I was relieved. Being the weirdo that I am - I caught some of it in a dixie cup and saw that it was pink. I busted out laughing. Our baby was a morning person - just like me. I hollered to hubs to wake up and shower because today was the day we'd meet our son. It took him a while to realize what I was saying (remember, he had done a little drinking the night before, so wasn't feeling too great), and then gave me a big smooch.
I then called my mom and my doula who told me to rest, take a shower, eat some breakfast, and call when contactions got close together. I did all the above (yeah, I put makeup on and braided my hair, thinking I would look so cute and fresh when baby arrived - HA!) and hubs kept track of my contractions for a couple hours before our doula decided she should head over. We all hung out, just taking each contraction at a time, figuring out good ways to deal with them. What ended up working the best was having both of them push on either side of my hips. At around 9am, I had a large gush of water come out, so we headed off to the hospital. (I tested GBS+, so they wanted me there asap to start antibiotics.)
Once at the hospital, my contractions really started to pick up - and all three of us thought things were rolling along. I was pretty sure I'd have a baby by lunch time. (Oh, how foolish of me!)
--Let me break here and just jot some insignificant little things that I can't remember everything about, but don't want to forget...--
> The contactions were like waves of sharp pains in the beginning, totally bearable until they admitted me into my room, then it turned into a lot of pressure along with the pain - the ridiculously insane pain. There's truly no way to describe it, just sheer pain. For me it all concentrated in my hips.
> I wore red and white striped undies that I wanted them to throw away, but the nurse and doula convinced me to keep because they were super cute.
> The first Dr. who checked me didn't believe my bag of waters had broken, she was going to send me home - luckily the admitting nurse convinced her otherwise.
> I went to the bathroom a lot - contractions make you feel like you have to pee and poop all the time.
> I was never hungry, but so glad we stopped for a slurpee on the way.
> I never went top-less, I always had a yoga bra on - I wanted to keep some part of myself covered since everything else was ALL OUT and made everyone's business.
> Oh - I used to ask people what labor smelled like. You know, all those fluids coming out, the baby being inside you you for 9 months, they come out covered in vernix - these things would cause an odor. Well, it's blood. At least in my version of labor it was. It is unreal how much blood comes out - craziness.
--Ok, back to the story--
After a few pokes (Yeah, the nurse couldn't get the IV in. She had to try 3 times - that shit burned!) I was given the antibiotics, but was still able to move around. I don't remember much of the early hours. Just a lot of breathing through contractions, and having hubs and my doula push on my hips. The contractions kept getting worse and worse - I couldn't believe how absolutely uncomfortable I was. Just when I thought things were the most painful, another one would come and kick my ass. I loved laboring in the tub (as much as you can love laboring), thank God for whoever decided to put those in the rooms.
After a while, my midwife came in to check my progess. I could hear the people around me talking about how I acted like I was in transition - this baby was going to come soon. (I felt like I was dreaming sometimes - there's so much commotion going on around you, but all you can do is deal with each contraction, and then rest up for the next one.) I was only at 4cm. It was 6pm. I was furious. You're kidding me, right?! All that pain, and I wasn't even half way?! But everyone around me thought I was going to be like 7-9cm! That's when I got a little crazy.
I became that woman I didn't want to be, the one that always freaked me out when I watched A Baby Story - I was a grunter. I was barbaric. But you know what? It helped. It helped take the edge off of the un-freaking-believable pain of those contractions. After another hour, I started to get really shaky, I was puking, and I felt like I had to poop. In other words, I was finally transitioning and ready to push.
So I pushed. And pushed some more. My midwife kept telling me to do what my body wanted. So I kept pushing. I jumped back in the tub, had hubs spray me with the shower head while I was on the ball, sat on the toilet - I tried everything to help. It was like non-stop contractions. And then it stopped. So I'd rest (yes, I fell asleep a couple times between the contractions). This is not normal. Then it would start again: push, push, push, rest. A few minutes would pass. My midwife was confused. Why wasn't this baby coming? She told me that if my contractions didn't start coming regularly, they'd give me Pitocin. I flipped out. That was not in my birth plan. I started having kick-ass contractions. I was on all fours, biting my pillow, grunting. My midwife decided to check where baby was - and found that my cervix had a huge anterior lip. I was fully dilated, but not effaced. Henry was pretty much being pushed two steps forward and then my cervix would bring him right back where he started. We decided to use the squat bar then, so I was using gravity to help. A nurse thought me seeing what was going on would encourage me - so she brought out a mirror. All I saw when I looked was huge hemorrhoids staring back at me. I told them to get the mirror out.
I thought the pain was bad enough, but then my midwife put her hand inside to spread my cervix open in order to make some headway. I wanted to cut her arms off. I wanted to curse her. I hated her. And then she said, "I see hair! Lots of hair!" I realized then she was bringing my baby to me - so I went with it. I pushed through that awful, awful burning pain. Burning, stinging, ripping pain. My feet were going numb, so they had my lay on my side, but that didn't work too well, so I squatted again. Finally I could feel he was getting close - and out came his head. Everyone was laughing because Henry immediately opened his eyes and was looking around like, "where the heck am I?" I then gave one last big push and then my little Mr. Henry was out.
I collapsed back on the bed and they laid him on my chest. He was so roughed up from such a long delivery - he had a cone head and one eye was bulging. He wasn't crying. They took him away and called for the NICU Dr to come down. Hubs and I started to freak out a bit. What was wrong? Why was no one telling us anything? It was so scary. They decided to take him up to the the NICU because of his poor lung function. I was then stitched up and had to have Pitocin to help contract my uterus. Nurses kept coming over and pushing my stomach - a ton more blood came gushing out. I was so weak - it took 3 people to get me to the toilet. Once I received my after care instructions, they put my in a wheelchair, covered me in warm blankets (one of the absolute best things I remember about that night - padcicles were another amazing relief), and took us up to see our boy.
My sweet boy is asleep in his crib and I'm sitting in the recliner soaking in the sound of his little breaths while I type. Wow. How awesome to type that. He's really freaking here! The baby I prayed for every single day! The baby I dreamed about, the one I started to think might not ever be mine! I'M A MOMMY!
Ok, so here goes:
Henry arrived on Monday, June 14th, 2010 at 11:21pm. He weighed 7lbs. 3oz. and was 19.5in. long.
The Sunday before was when my mom and I finished decorating the nursery. I was exhausted, and telling all my friends how ready I was for him to get here. My friend Stacey took a picture of me in the doorway of my house that night - she told me it would send me into labor, it happened to her with both her boys. Hubs came home that evening a little buzzed - we sat in Henry's room just sharing our dreams for our baby boy. Hubs did a lot of talking to my belly, telling our baby boy he was more than ready for him to come out. Little did we know...
I woke up at 4am to pee and noticed that there was fluid still coming out after I was relieved. Being the weirdo that I am - I caught some of it in a dixie cup and saw that it was pink. I busted out laughing. Our baby was a morning person - just like me. I hollered to hubs to wake up and shower because today was the day we'd meet our son. It took him a while to realize what I was saying (remember, he had done a little drinking the night before, so wasn't feeling too great), and then gave me a big smooch.
I then called my mom and my doula who told me to rest, take a shower, eat some breakfast, and call when contactions got close together. I did all the above (yeah, I put makeup on and braided my hair, thinking I would look so cute and fresh when baby arrived - HA!) and hubs kept track of my contractions for a couple hours before our doula decided she should head over. We all hung out, just taking each contraction at a time, figuring out good ways to deal with them. What ended up working the best was having both of them push on either side of my hips. At around 9am, I had a large gush of water come out, so we headed off to the hospital. (I tested GBS+, so they wanted me there asap to start antibiotics.)
Once at the hospital, my contractions really started to pick up - and all three of us thought things were rolling along. I was pretty sure I'd have a baby by lunch time. (Oh, how foolish of me!)
--Let me break here and just jot some insignificant little things that I can't remember everything about, but don't want to forget...--
> The contactions were like waves of sharp pains in the beginning, totally bearable until they admitted me into my room, then it turned into a lot of pressure along with the pain - the ridiculously insane pain. There's truly no way to describe it, just sheer pain. For me it all concentrated in my hips.
> I wore red and white striped undies that I wanted them to throw away, but the nurse and doula convinced me to keep because they were super cute.
> The first Dr. who checked me didn't believe my bag of waters had broken, she was going to send me home - luckily the admitting nurse convinced her otherwise.
> I went to the bathroom a lot - contractions make you feel like you have to pee and poop all the time.
> I was never hungry, but so glad we stopped for a slurpee on the way.
> I never went top-less, I always had a yoga bra on - I wanted to keep some part of myself covered since everything else was ALL OUT and made everyone's business.
> Oh - I used to ask people what labor smelled like. You know, all those fluids coming out, the baby being inside you you for 9 months, they come out covered in vernix - these things would cause an odor. Well, it's blood. At least in my version of labor it was. It is unreal how much blood comes out - craziness.
--Ok, back to the story--
After a few pokes (Yeah, the nurse couldn't get the IV in. She had to try 3 times - that shit burned!) I was given the antibiotics, but was still able to move around. I don't remember much of the early hours. Just a lot of breathing through contractions, and having hubs and my doula push on my hips. The contractions kept getting worse and worse - I couldn't believe how absolutely uncomfortable I was. Just when I thought things were the most painful, another one would come and kick my ass. I loved laboring in the tub (as much as you can love laboring), thank God for whoever decided to put those in the rooms.
After a while, my midwife came in to check my progess. I could hear the people around me talking about how I acted like I was in transition - this baby was going to come soon. (I felt like I was dreaming sometimes - there's so much commotion going on around you, but all you can do is deal with each contraction, and then rest up for the next one.) I was only at 4cm. It was 6pm. I was furious. You're kidding me, right?! All that pain, and I wasn't even half way?! But everyone around me thought I was going to be like 7-9cm! That's when I got a little crazy.
I became that woman I didn't want to be, the one that always freaked me out when I watched A Baby Story - I was a grunter. I was barbaric. But you know what? It helped. It helped take the edge off of the un-freaking-believable pain of those contractions. After another hour, I started to get really shaky, I was puking, and I felt like I had to poop. In other words, I was finally transitioning and ready to push.
So I pushed. And pushed some more. My midwife kept telling me to do what my body wanted. So I kept pushing. I jumped back in the tub, had hubs spray me with the shower head while I was on the ball, sat on the toilet - I tried everything to help. It was like non-stop contractions. And then it stopped. So I'd rest (yes, I fell asleep a couple times between the contractions). This is not normal. Then it would start again: push, push, push, rest. A few minutes would pass. My midwife was confused. Why wasn't this baby coming? She told me that if my contractions didn't start coming regularly, they'd give me Pitocin. I flipped out. That was not in my birth plan. I started having kick-ass contractions. I was on all fours, biting my pillow, grunting. My midwife decided to check where baby was - and found that my cervix had a huge anterior lip. I was fully dilated, but not effaced. Henry was pretty much being pushed two steps forward and then my cervix would bring him right back where he started. We decided to use the squat bar then, so I was using gravity to help. A nurse thought me seeing what was going on would encourage me - so she brought out a mirror. All I saw when I looked was huge hemorrhoids staring back at me. I told them to get the mirror out.
I thought the pain was bad enough, but then my midwife put her hand inside to spread my cervix open in order to make some headway. I wanted to cut her arms off. I wanted to curse her. I hated her. And then she said, "I see hair! Lots of hair!" I realized then she was bringing my baby to me - so I went with it. I pushed through that awful, awful burning pain. Burning, stinging, ripping pain. My feet were going numb, so they had my lay on my side, but that didn't work too well, so I squatted again. Finally I could feel he was getting close - and out came his head. Everyone was laughing because Henry immediately opened his eyes and was looking around like, "where the heck am I?" I then gave one last big push and then my little Mr. Henry was out.
I collapsed back on the bed and they laid him on my chest. He was so roughed up from such a long delivery - he had a cone head and one eye was bulging. He wasn't crying. They took him away and called for the NICU Dr to come down. Hubs and I started to freak out a bit. What was wrong? Why was no one telling us anything? It was so scary. They decided to take him up to the the NICU because of his poor lung function. I was then stitched up and had to have Pitocin to help contract my uterus. Nurses kept coming over and pushing my stomach - a ton more blood came gushing out. I was so weak - it took 3 people to get me to the toilet. Once I received my after care instructions, they put my in a wheelchair, covered me in warm blankets (one of the absolute best things I remember about that night - padcicles were another amazing relief), and took us up to see our boy.
6.10.2010
Waiting for Henry
Like always, I should've posted something sooner, but I'm lazy.
I've officially started "maternity leave," which in my life means, "as much time off as I want without getting paid." My hands were swelling so bad that my hands were going numb at work. Numbs hands + rib pain + exhaustion = not working 3 weeks sooner than I had originally planned. But, like I've been hearing from many others - now's the time to do it, because I'll never be able to rest like this again.
With the time, I've now been filling it with cleaning and reorganizing. My mom has been the biggest help - she even took a day off work to come over and spend the entire time cleaning and helping me move furniture. Our house is now looking more like a home! I'm also taking plenty of time to read, sleep, and run errands. I know all those things will be much more limited once little Mr. gets here.
I had my 36 week check up last week - thought I was having a ton of early labor symptoms this past week - and had my 37 week appointment yesterday. Things that made me think I was going to have my baby by now:
- lost my mucus plug
>My midwife Jill told me this can happen a few times since it can regenerate
- had bloody show
>One of those things that make it seem like you'll immediately get contractions, but nothing really happened
- cramping/back pain on & off
- diarrhea daily/vomiting almost daily
>Seems my body keeps "cleaning itself out" just in case
Alas, labor has not began...yet. I asked Jill to check me at my appointment yesterday - I wanted to see if all these symptoms meant anything, any progress at all. Well, I was dilated to 1cm, 50% effaced, and Henry's at a -2 station. So, things are starting to happen. How long will it take for things to continue? Who knows - I could be like this for weeks, or I could go into labor tonight. All I know is that I'm officially ready. I had a talk with Henry last night to let him know that it's completely up to him when he gets here. (I know it's always been up to him, but I'm now giving in to that fact.) His dad and I would be more than thrilled to meet him today, but if he wants to cook a little longer, I'll not deny that's what's best then.
There could be a few more posts until he gets here, or the next one could be announcing his arrival. So crazy!
I've officially started "maternity leave," which in my life means, "as much time off as I want without getting paid." My hands were swelling so bad that my hands were going numb at work. Numbs hands + rib pain + exhaustion = not working 3 weeks sooner than I had originally planned. But, like I've been hearing from many others - now's the time to do it, because I'll never be able to rest like this again.
With the time, I've now been filling it with cleaning and reorganizing. My mom has been the biggest help - she even took a day off work to come over and spend the entire time cleaning and helping me move furniture. Our house is now looking more like a home! I'm also taking plenty of time to read, sleep, and run errands. I know all those things will be much more limited once little Mr. gets here.
I had my 36 week check up last week - thought I was having a ton of early labor symptoms this past week - and had my 37 week appointment yesterday. Things that made me think I was going to have my baby by now:
- lost my mucus plug
>My midwife Jill told me this can happen a few times since it can regenerate
- had bloody show
>One of those things that make it seem like you'll immediately get contractions, but nothing really happened
- cramping/back pain on & off
- diarrhea daily/vomiting almost daily
>Seems my body keeps "cleaning itself out" just in case
Alas, labor has not began...yet. I asked Jill to check me at my appointment yesterday - I wanted to see if all these symptoms meant anything, any progress at all. Well, I was dilated to 1cm, 50% effaced, and Henry's at a -2 station. So, things are starting to happen. How long will it take for things to continue? Who knows - I could be like this for weeks, or I could go into labor tonight. All I know is that I'm officially ready. I had a talk with Henry last night to let him know that it's completely up to him when he gets here. (I know it's always been up to him, but I'm now giving in to that fact.) His dad and I would be more than thrilled to meet him today, but if he wants to cook a little longer, I'll not deny that's what's best then.
There could be a few more posts until he gets here, or the next one could be announcing his arrival. So crazy!
5.24.2010
What a great 35/35!
Yesterday we hit the 35/35 mark! That means I'm 35 weeks with 35 days left to go! The end feels so close but yet so far away.
But the best news about yesterday...Henry's cousin has arrived! At 37weeks 1day Grace Elizabeth was born at 1:40pm weighing 5lbs 10oz and 17 3/4inches long. She's so beautiful! We won't get to meet her face-to-face until August, so that stinks, but we've seen a lot of pictures already. We love her so much!
But the best news about yesterday...Henry's cousin has arrived! At 37weeks 1day Grace Elizabeth was born at 1:40pm weighing 5lbs 10oz and 17 3/4inches long. She's so beautiful! We won't get to meet her face-to-face until August, so that stinks, but we've seen a lot of pictures already. We love her so much!
5.20.2010
Do you Doula?
We definitely do! Sit tight, this is going to be a long ride - I've had a lot on my mind and figure I've just got to spill it before it becomes its own blog. :)
What's a doula, you ask? She is a trained labor coach who assists you during labor and delivery. She provides continuous physical, informational, and emotional support before, during, and just after birth. Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier, and they breastfeed more easily. - copied from the DONA website.
As I've been journeying through pregnancy I've noticed one major thing - women love talking about their experience of labor and delivery. I even had a 90-year-old patient tell me about her son's birth - and why she never put herself through it again. Women don't forget - good or bad - what they went through. This one observation is what made me gung-ho about having a doula for this, my first labor and delivery process. What do I know about pushing a baby out? Other than what I see on A Baby Story, or what I've heard from others - not much. Hubs and I both are totally wet behind the ears (forgive my pun) about this whole thing. Why not have someone with us who can reassure us of what's normal? What our options are? What different techniques we can use to help us get to that precious end result? I'd love to have more children, so I'd like this to be an experience I can actually bear to go through again.
The first meeting hubs and I had with Kim, our doula, was to come up with a birth plan. This ended up being a huge wake-up call for me. I did some reading and research before we met so I'd have an idea about the things we would discuss (inducing, monitoring, etc.). Here are some little tid-bits that helped me in my decision-making:
>Inductions, epidurals, and c-sections have now become the "norm." Why? Because they're more convenient for hospital staff. Yes, an OB is a surgeon. This is why hubs and I decided to go with a midwife delivery.
>Inductions usually end up snowballing into many interventions.
- Chemical inductions don't allow your body to catch up to all that's suddenly happening. You go from good to miserable in a matter of minutes. Thus, you will ask for an epidural - which will most likely slow down contractions - which will then have them encouraging you to up the Pitocin - etc. etc. etc.
- This also means baby will have a harder time dealing with the birth process. They will have to be internally monitored (meaning they screw some type of electrode into the top of baby's head - not a pretty thing to imagine) to make sure they're not too stressed. Why are we stressing out our babes before they even make it into the world? Especially if it isn't necessary?
>Throughout pregnancy, it's stressed that the only meds you should be taking are Tums and Tylenol - everything else could harm baby. So why when my child is still in-utero are they fine with pumping me full of opiates like Nubain and Stadol? Or giving me a drug to prevent stomach ulcers (Cytotec) to "help me along" by inserting it near my cervix?
>C-Section rates in the US are upwards of 35-40%, they are the 3rd most popular surgery performed.
- Women are 7 times more likely to die in a c-section than a vaginal birth
- 1-2 babies out of 100 are accidentally cut during a c-section
- The majority of c-sections are performed at 4pm and 10pm, and most are on Thursdays.
Hmmm...wonder why that is? Dr's convenience, people.
>The most common position in the US for pushing is in a bed, on your back and expect you to stay there. I've heard people say giving birth feels like trying to poop - can you imagine pushing out poop on your back? Nearly impossible.
- This position is easiest for Drs.: they have your "area" at eye level and can comfortably sit on a stool.
- Labor is often slower and less effective from this position, also more uncomfortable - therefore, more women beg for meds.
>Many hospitals "hook you up" to monitors as soon as you arrive. This is absolutely unneccessary in most situations.
- Studies have shown that continuous fetal monitoring (the strap around your belly) doesn't significantly improve outcomes for either mom or baby. ACOG actually recommends against it in low-risk women. (That's me.)
So, what is my birth plan? Well:
1. I want to be able to labor at home as long as possible. Having a doula with us from the get-go, coming to our house - giving us techniques to tolerate contractions for a while, will help stretch this instead of causing us to rush off to the hospital and having them come back home because I'm not "far enough along."
2. I've requested a jacuzzi tub room (a great way to help with pain), with an exercise ball (useful in opening up the hips/birth canal), and a mirror (when baby is coming out - I want to see). Also, like I stated above, we will be having a midwife delivery. Which in most cases means they won't spring interventions on us, but since we're in a hospital - we won't be getting one-on-one, continuous support from her. That's why I'm so thrilled we'll have our doula.
3. I don't want to be rushed. They can monitor Henry intermittently, and as long as things are good - just let me keep laboring. I don't want my bag of waters broken, don't want any meds to "get things going", and definitely don't want to be on someone else's schedule.
4. I would rather tear naturally than get an episiotomy. I'll be doing perineal massage to help my chances in not tearing, but don't want anyone coming at my hoo with scissors.
5. Since I will be moving around, changing positions, using different techniques to get through each contraction, there will be less of a chance that forceps/vacuum will need to be used. These things freak hubs right out. He doesn't want to see them. I plan on pushing on all fours or on my side.
6. If I reach a point where neither hubs nor doula are helping in any fashion, I will allow an epidural (if it's not too late - past however many cms). I'm not crazy people, but I do want to see what I'm capable of.
7. After Henry is delivered, I want to be able to bond with him immediately, as long as everything is great. Hubs will definitely cut the cord, but has also showed interest in helping pull Henry out. I'm so looking forward to these bonding experiences for my two boys. :)
Having a doula will help bring this plan to fruition. She will stick up for us if/when nurses are encouraging us to "speed things up" or "take the edge off." It's impossible to predict how the actual labor and delivery will go - how reassuring to face the unknown with someone who deals with it way more than we do. Women who have a doula are more likely to be satisfied, and (believe it or not) enjoy their experience. Having a doula will also take a lot of pressure off of hubs. He'll be able to support me - but also be able to enjoy the process himself. This will be a major day in his life as well - why should he spend it worrying about if he's doing things right and sweating out whether or not things are normal? He can look to Kim for support when he needs a break (he'll still have to pee, eat, heck - even nap) and I won't feel abandoned or alone.
Our second meeting with Kim was a "practice run" to see what techniques help me best deal with the pain of contractions. I held onto an ice cube while one of them timed for a minute and the other used massage, acupressure, and or breathing to help me cope. Breathing is huge - I was able to really focus on it and "turn in to myself." I also loved the Tingler (a head massager) and this vibrating massager thing, oh and a marble-looking pressure massager. They all made noises, which helped me drown out the sounds around me and focus on my breath. I know holding an ice cube isn't like the pain of a contraction, but it was a great "nagging" pain that was hard to ignore. If anything, hubs and I feel more prepared for that big day. I used to have a lot of fear thinking about giving birth - but now I'm actually looking forward to what my body can do and how it will all turn out.
What's a doula, you ask? She is a trained labor coach who assists you during labor and delivery. She provides continuous physical, informational, and emotional support before, during, and just after birth. Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier, and they breastfeed more easily. - copied from the DONA website.
As I've been journeying through pregnancy I've noticed one major thing - women love talking about their experience of labor and delivery. I even had a 90-year-old patient tell me about her son's birth - and why she never put herself through it again. Women don't forget - good or bad - what they went through. This one observation is what made me gung-ho about having a doula for this, my first labor and delivery process. What do I know about pushing a baby out? Other than what I see on A Baby Story, or what I've heard from others - not much. Hubs and I both are totally wet behind the ears (forgive my pun) about this whole thing. Why not have someone with us who can reassure us of what's normal? What our options are? What different techniques we can use to help us get to that precious end result? I'd love to have more children, so I'd like this to be an experience I can actually bear to go through again.
The first meeting hubs and I had with Kim, our doula, was to come up with a birth plan. This ended up being a huge wake-up call for me. I did some reading and research before we met so I'd have an idea about the things we would discuss (inducing, monitoring, etc.). Here are some little tid-bits that helped me in my decision-making:
>Inductions, epidurals, and c-sections have now become the "norm." Why? Because they're more convenient for hospital staff. Yes, an OB is a surgeon. This is why hubs and I decided to go with a midwife delivery.
>Inductions usually end up snowballing into many interventions.
- Chemical inductions don't allow your body to catch up to all that's suddenly happening. You go from good to miserable in a matter of minutes. Thus, you will ask for an epidural - which will most likely slow down contractions - which will then have them encouraging you to up the Pitocin - etc. etc. etc.
- This also means baby will have a harder time dealing with the birth process. They will have to be internally monitored (meaning they screw some type of electrode into the top of baby's head - not a pretty thing to imagine) to make sure they're not too stressed. Why are we stressing out our babes before they even make it into the world? Especially if it isn't necessary?
>Throughout pregnancy, it's stressed that the only meds you should be taking are Tums and Tylenol - everything else could harm baby. So why when my child is still in-utero are they fine with pumping me full of opiates like Nubain and Stadol? Or giving me a drug to prevent stomach ulcers (Cytotec) to "help me along" by inserting it near my cervix?
>C-Section rates in the US are upwards of 35-40%, they are the 3rd most popular surgery performed.
- Women are 7 times more likely to die in a c-section than a vaginal birth
- 1-2 babies out of 100 are accidentally cut during a c-section
- The majority of c-sections are performed at 4pm and 10pm, and most are on Thursdays.
Hmmm...wonder why that is? Dr's convenience, people.
>The most common position in the US for pushing is in a bed, on your back and expect you to stay there. I've heard people say giving birth feels like trying to poop - can you imagine pushing out poop on your back? Nearly impossible.
- This position is easiest for Drs.: they have your "area" at eye level and can comfortably sit on a stool.
- Labor is often slower and less effective from this position, also more uncomfortable - therefore, more women beg for meds.
>Many hospitals "hook you up" to monitors as soon as you arrive. This is absolutely unneccessary in most situations.
- Studies have shown that continuous fetal monitoring (the strap around your belly) doesn't significantly improve outcomes for either mom or baby. ACOG actually recommends against it in low-risk women. (That's me.)
So, what is my birth plan? Well:
1. I want to be able to labor at home as long as possible. Having a doula with us from the get-go, coming to our house - giving us techniques to tolerate contractions for a while, will help stretch this instead of causing us to rush off to the hospital and having them come back home because I'm not "far enough along."
2. I've requested a jacuzzi tub room (a great way to help with pain), with an exercise ball (useful in opening up the hips/birth canal), and a mirror (when baby is coming out - I want to see). Also, like I stated above, we will be having a midwife delivery. Which in most cases means they won't spring interventions on us, but since we're in a hospital - we won't be getting one-on-one, continuous support from her. That's why I'm so thrilled we'll have our doula.
3. I don't want to be rushed. They can monitor Henry intermittently, and as long as things are good - just let me keep laboring. I don't want my bag of waters broken, don't want any meds to "get things going", and definitely don't want to be on someone else's schedule.
4. I would rather tear naturally than get an episiotomy. I'll be doing perineal massage to help my chances in not tearing, but don't want anyone coming at my hoo with scissors.
5. Since I will be moving around, changing positions, using different techniques to get through each contraction, there will be less of a chance that forceps/vacuum will need to be used. These things freak hubs right out. He doesn't want to see them. I plan on pushing on all fours or on my side.
6. If I reach a point where neither hubs nor doula are helping in any fashion, I will allow an epidural (if it's not too late - past however many cms). I'm not crazy people, but I do want to see what I'm capable of.
7. After Henry is delivered, I want to be able to bond with him immediately, as long as everything is great. Hubs will definitely cut the cord, but has also showed interest in helping pull Henry out. I'm so looking forward to these bonding experiences for my two boys. :)
Having a doula will help bring this plan to fruition. She will stick up for us if/when nurses are encouraging us to "speed things up" or "take the edge off." It's impossible to predict how the actual labor and delivery will go - how reassuring to face the unknown with someone who deals with it way more than we do. Women who have a doula are more likely to be satisfied, and (believe it or not) enjoy their experience. Having a doula will also take a lot of pressure off of hubs. He'll be able to support me - but also be able to enjoy the process himself. This will be a major day in his life as well - why should he spend it worrying about if he's doing things right and sweating out whether or not things are normal? He can look to Kim for support when he needs a break (he'll still have to pee, eat, heck - even nap) and I won't feel abandoned or alone.
Our second meeting with Kim was a "practice run" to see what techniques help me best deal with the pain of contractions. I held onto an ice cube while one of them timed for a minute and the other used massage, acupressure, and or breathing to help me cope. Breathing is huge - I was able to really focus on it and "turn in to myself." I also loved the Tingler (a head massager) and this vibrating massager thing, oh and a marble-looking pressure massager. They all made noises, which helped me drown out the sounds around me and focus on my breath. I know holding an ice cube isn't like the pain of a contraction, but it was a great "nagging" pain that was hard to ignore. If anything, hubs and I feel more prepared for that big day. I used to have a lot of fear thinking about giving birth - but now I'm actually looking forward to what my body can do and how it will all turn out.
4.24.2010
Our Baby Shower
Almost a week after and - I'm finally writing about it. Let's be honest - I can't blame pregnancy for my lack of updating...I guess I just stink at this bloggy blog stuff.
Okee doke, so the shower was Sunday, April 18th at the Doubletree Hotel. It was an awesome brunch with scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon (a personal request), french toast, fruit, and a pastry platter. Delicioso! The flowers on the tables were a beautiful arrangement of blues and yellows (tulips, hyacinth, daisies, irises, etc.) with an adorable coordinating plaid ribbon around each vase. We gave Oh, Henry! candy bars as favors - they were a huge hit. MIL ordered us an extra box to pass out to hospital visitors once Henry gets here. :) (Once I figure out how to uplaod pics I plan on making all these posts way cooler - I swear I will learn!)
Brian was there - he even said the prayer before we ate. He's so awesome. I cried the whole way home from the shower because I couldn't get over how "there for me" he truly is. He'll do anything for me - and I realize just how blessed I am with this man. Such a relief to have someone open gifts with me, help mingle, keep me sane and not crying at every baby item or sweet note in a card. I can't express just how great it was having him as my rock that day (well, every day).
We received a ton of great gifts - all being things off our registry, or gift certificates. Any little extras we got (outfits, blankies, etc.) were in addition to something we really needed. We were absolutely spoiled! Since we're not done painting Henry's room, all the things are packed away in our guest bedroom. I can't wait to get started on organization!
Okee doke, so the shower was Sunday, April 18th at the Doubletree Hotel. It was an awesome brunch with scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon (a personal request), french toast, fruit, and a pastry platter. Delicioso! The flowers on the tables were a beautiful arrangement of blues and yellows (tulips, hyacinth, daisies, irises, etc.) with an adorable coordinating plaid ribbon around each vase. We gave Oh, Henry! candy bars as favors - they were a huge hit. MIL ordered us an extra box to pass out to hospital visitors once Henry gets here. :) (Once I figure out how to uplaod pics I plan on making all these posts way cooler - I swear I will learn!)
Brian was there - he even said the prayer before we ate. He's so awesome. I cried the whole way home from the shower because I couldn't get over how "there for me" he truly is. He'll do anything for me - and I realize just how blessed I am with this man. Such a relief to have someone open gifts with me, help mingle, keep me sane and not crying at every baby item or sweet note in a card. I can't express just how great it was having him as my rock that day (well, every day).
We received a ton of great gifts - all being things off our registry, or gift certificates. Any little extras we got (outfits, blankies, etc.) were in addition to something we really needed. We were absolutely spoiled! Since we're not done painting Henry's room, all the things are packed away in our guest bedroom. I can't wait to get started on organization!
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